Granny...

Will Smith was on Oprah today (yes, all of you 20 year olds, I said Oprah) ...and he said something that really helped me to think about life a little differently. He said (more or less), "Most people think of life as a linear journey. You are born, you live, you die. I think about life a little differently. You are born, you live, you die, and you are re-born. Everytime you have a loss (or death) in your life, you have to be re-born or reinvent the way you look at things. You have to become a new person, have a new outlook, and learn how to go on with purpose."
My granny (she is actually Ted's granny, but I have been adopted:)) is dying from cancer. She is a pain in the ass, a bitch, and really hard to handle right now, but I love her to death. She calls me "her Synda" and will only let me help her sit up (she says I just like getting a hug from her). Yesterday was my birthday and she was so upset that she couldn't find her purse to give me $40. She held my hand really tight and said, "it was never meant to be like this, I've never felt this out of control". Then she fell back to sleep.
I can't imaging how her death is going to affect granddad, Ted, and myself. We moved her to Vegas to give her a life and now she is going to leave it. I wonder how everyone will handle this loss and how we will all be re-born? ...I will miss her very much....but I'm glad she was here...