Sometimes we think too much about the choices we have to make and it often keeps us from making any choice at all. I have realized that choices are just options, completely reversible, and well worth the risk. I would rather make a choice, and fail,  than waste most of my life worrying about the outcomes of every option. I may not always choose the correct path, but I only have one life, and I'll be dammed if I'm going to waste it wondering, what if????

Ok, I said I never would, and don't tell anyone, but....I really like my Macbook:) It's so pretty and clean and doesn't ask me ten thousand times to reboot or update. It's like a breath of fresh air in my already hectic computer life...

Washington DC

There is nothing better than taking a veteran to Washington DC. Granddad was finally able to lay Granny to rest at Arlington Cemetary. I have never seen such pure happiness and contentment in a grown man. The chaplain said, "I hear that you would like to join your wife here...in a very long time from now." He answered, "Any time is good with me." I hope that I am able to accept what happens next, like he is, with a smile on my face and an excitement about what comes next:)

Granny...

Will Smith was on Oprah today (yes, all of you 20 year olds, I said Oprah) ...and he said something that really helped me to think about life a little differently. He said (more or less), "Most people think of life as a linear journey. You are born, you live, you die. I think about life a little differently. You are born, you live, you die, and you are re-born. Everytime you have a loss (or death) in your life, you have to be re-born or reinvent the way you look at things. You have to become a new person, have a new outlook, and learn how to go on with purpose."
My granny (she is actually Ted's granny, but I have been adopted:)) is dying from cancer. She is a pain in the ass, a bitch, and really hard to handle right now, but I love her to death. She calls me "her Synda" and will only let me help her sit up (she says I just like getting a hug from her). Yesterday was my birthday and she was so upset that she couldn't find her purse to give me $40. She held my hand really tight and said, "it was never meant to be like this, I've never felt this out of control". Then she fell back to sleep.
I can't imaging how her death is going to affect granddad, Ted, and myself. We moved her to Vegas to give her a life and now she is going to leave it. I wonder how everyone will handle this loss and how we will all be re-born? ...I will miss her very much....but I'm glad she was here...

Once again...I'm in over my head!

Ok, number one...Are there any teachers of organic chemistry, or any chemistry for that matter, that speak ENGLISH! Not only am I learning an entirely new language, I'm doing math in that language, speaking in that language, and trying to be logical in that language...all while listening to someone teach me that language...IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE! I am trying really hard to figure things out. I sit at the front of the class, I listen intently, I take notes, I study every day, and I still have no clue what I'm doing. It is some consolation that the rest of the class doesn't either (the class average on the last test was 30%), but it still doesn't help me pass this class...and I need to pass this class. I'm old...and I'm on a schedule! All I am asking for is a "C" that's it, a bloody "C", is that too much to ask?

The Endless Cycle of School and Work...

One of the reasonsI have been in school so long is that I wanted to work in the medical profession. The thing about the medical profession, however, is this...it is a job that you have to have a degree in to pursue. Well, here in lies the problem...To become, let's say, a doctor, or a physical therapist, or a Paramedic, or a Physicians Assistant, you have to prove that you have what it takes to work in a hospital/medical setting. To accomplish this goal, you have to a) volunteer or b) get a job in a hospital. Well, to get a job in a hospital, you need either a certification in something (i.e. phlibotomy, OR Tech, EMT, etc...) or prior work experience...hmmm....can't get experience without getting the job, so...
Anyway, that leaves me with two other options....get a new certification or volunteering. The problem with volunteering at a hospital is that it is very hard to volunteer in places that would really teach you something (like the emergency room or the labor and delivery department). In order to volunteer in these prime places...you have to have a certification....DO YOU SEE THE PROBLEM?
So, for as long as I can remember I have been getting different certifications, to get different jobs, just to see my life change so that I never actually work in the jobs I'm certified for....And to add insult to injury, if I do decide to work in something I have achieved certification for, it is usually too late and my certification has expired...(i.e...EMT-I)
Well, now that I have decided to go back to school, I am in the same situation, only much older... I need hospital experience and I don't have any. I looked at all of the jobs available, and of course, they all still need certifications which would take me time to get (which I don't have much of any more). So that leaves me with volunteering...Hopefully, they will be impressed on my application when under hospital work experience I put candy stripper, janitor, and/or wheel chair pusher....What do you think? Is it enough to land me a spot in medical school?

Cute Little Dog with an Accent!

I don't know what it says about me exactly, but I am extremely excited to see this movie! I guess there is just something about a cute little doggy with an accent that makes me want to smile. And the fact that there is a yorkie, amoung other cute dogs, as supporting characters...well, I just have to see it:)

The problem is, I don't have any young kids to go with, so justifying my presence in this Disney children's movie may be a little difficult...Maybe I could just borrow my friend's kids, or better yet, just walk in next to someone with like 7 kids and pretend they are mine?? Anywho, I am way excited and it opens tomorrow!