Granny...

Will Smith was on Oprah today (yes, all of you 20 year olds, I said Oprah) ...and he said something that really helped me to think about life a little differently. He said (more or less), "Most people think of life as a linear journey. You are born, you live, you die. I think about life a little differently. You are born, you live, you die, and you are re-born. Everytime you have a loss (or death) in your life, you have to be re-born or reinvent the way you look at things. You have to become a new person, have a new outlook, and learn how to go on with purpose."
My granny (she is actually Ted's granny, but I have been adopted:)) is dying from cancer. She is a pain in the ass, a bitch, and really hard to handle right now, but I love her to death. She calls me "her Synda" and will only let me help her sit up (she says I just like getting a hug from her). Yesterday was my birthday and she was so upset that she couldn't find her purse to give me $40. She held my hand really tight and said, "it was never meant to be like this, I've never felt this out of control". Then she fell back to sleep.
I can't imaging how her death is going to affect granddad, Ted, and myself. We moved her to Vegas to give her a life and now she is going to leave it. I wonder how everyone will handle this loss and how we will all be re-born? ...I will miss her very much....but I'm glad she was here...

Once again...I'm in over my head!

Ok, number one...Are there any teachers of organic chemistry, or any chemistry for that matter, that speak ENGLISH! Not only am I learning an entirely new language, I'm doing math in that language, speaking in that language, and trying to be logical in that language...all while listening to someone teach me that language...IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE! I am trying really hard to figure things out. I sit at the front of the class, I listen intently, I take notes, I study every day, and I still have no clue what I'm doing. It is some consolation that the rest of the class doesn't either (the class average on the last test was 30%), but it still doesn't help me pass this class...and I need to pass this class. I'm old...and I'm on a schedule! All I am asking for is a "C" that's it, a bloody "C", is that too much to ask?